Making Up 101 - Destructive Actions to Avoid at All Cost
Author: David Leonard Houde
Relationships will always be a combination of ups and downs. How we deal with the downs is extremely important, especially when it involves a break-up. There might be an inclination to "throw in the towel" after a fight. Both sides feel awful after a fight. Actually, this is a good sign; it can indicate the love is still there. Knowing what to do when making up after a break up or fight, can literally make or break the relationship. Certain actions should be avoided at all costs if you want a chance to make up. Read on to find out what does not work when rebuilding after the breakup.
1. Quick Fixing Your Relationship
If you think getting back together as quickly as possible will solve your relationship issues, you are wrong. A cut does not heal overnight, neither will your relationship. People want to believe that they can say the words, "I'm sorry" and all is forgotten and resolved. Easy to say, harder to live. If you two are meant to be together, then you have to trust that time is on your hands. Giving each person space to deal with what has just happened is better than just throwing things back together. Critical times after a break up involve baby steps. If emotions are running rampant, there is little chance that logic and clear thinking will be allowed to flow. Keep in touch with your loved one, and that does not mean calling or texting them over and over. Keep it simple to start, and gradually build your relationship. Think about it this way: you have discovered that certain aspects of your relationship do not work. You thought you knew your significant other and visa-versa. You are really not "re-building", you are actually starting new, and learning who this person truly is. This will lead to a healthier and potentially stronger relationship.
2. Don't Be An Emotional Wreck
This is not a time to be wrapped up in your emotions. That might sound harsh, but if you are serious about getting your partner back, you need to be positive and focused. If you show weakness and lack of self esteem, you might just push your significant other further away. Confidence and emotional strength will show you are ready to work on the relationship and build on what works. It might also give them a sense of having the upper hand over you - not something that is conducive to a positive relationship. The last thing a partner want to deal with is emotional issues when you two are trying to make it work. I know that it will be hard to do. It does not mean you have to give up your emotions; just try to avoid breaking down when you two are together.
3. Don't Ignore The Reason You Broke Up
While you might want to just forget about why your broke up in the first place, you are just hurting your chances for a positive relationship. If for one second you think you can just brush it under the rug, you are wrong. What happens if you never change the oil in your car? You will be heading for a breakdown! You must deal with the reasons behind the breakup. It probably will be difficult to talk about at first, but it is imperative you do so. If you can talk about it together without one or the other placing blame or pointing fingers, you have a good chance of getting through it. You will probably discover that certain things do not work between you two - and you may not have been aware of them! Clearing the air is important. It is less likely you or your partner will hold something against you once it have been brought out in the open and discussed.
Rebuilding a relationship takes time and patience. It also involves an awareness of what you destructive actions you must avoid at all costs. If you think you can figure it all out on your own, you are selling your relationship short. Knowledge will always mean power, and if you follow the link below to more information, your relationship will have a fighting (no pun intended) chance. Making up can be hard to accomplish. You will have a real chance to make up once you know what to do.